Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize