I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
