I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
