omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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