You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
