so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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