census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
