its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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