that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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