ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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