Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
