Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i now understand why vodka
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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