So drunk its hurt
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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