Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
