I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
