he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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