i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
