My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
