Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
