I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The adults are the big ones right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
