I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
