is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
