you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
