I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
