dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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