no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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