okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
