will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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