I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
