I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
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dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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