I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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