A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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