i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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