But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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