So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
