i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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