Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
