as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
