She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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