That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
being pregnant is like rehab
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
