Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
