the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
