I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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