I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize