Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I had to cum in my sink.
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