weddingsv make me drug and hornr
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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