It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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