i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
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i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY