Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.