Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo

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  (914): ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo http://tfl.nu/67fe
  Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (658)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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  (419): with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter http://tfl.nu/l06j
  Replies (3) Good night (1424) Bad night (802)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.

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  (425): Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts. http://tfl.nu/1fhj
  Replies (112) Good night (1555) Bad night (4496)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(

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  (732): the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :( http://tfl.nu/7drn
  Replies (19) Good night (1314) Bad night (6751)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

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  (352): I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way. http://tfl.nu/qonl
  Replies (34) Good night (6287) Bad night (2446)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.

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  (662): they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments. http://tfl.nu/u5vp
  Replies (10) Good night (2750) Bad night (1254)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.

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  (702): Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home. http://tfl.nu/nbuo
  Replies (3) Good night (963) Bad night (3184)
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  (842): View more from

  we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone

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  (842): we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone http://tfl.nu/yvho
  Replies (11) Good night (2558) Bad night (1043)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

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  (937): My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you. http://tfl.nu/3o9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2900) Bad night (729)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.

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  (978): I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk. http://tfl.nu/so98
  Replies (13) Good night (1838) Bad night (661)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  When did we convert life to cartoon?

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  (435): When did we convert life to cartoon? http://tfl.nu/wmk0
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (504)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.

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  (540): You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you. http://tfl.nu/4u5p
  Replies (6) Good night (2296) Bad night (911)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.

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  (409): I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it. http://tfl.nu/vd4l
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (480)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy

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  (215): i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy http://tfl.nu/9sod
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (354)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.

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  (505): I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir. http://tfl.nu/2mq7
  Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (375)

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