I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There r osticjed everywhere
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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