hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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