i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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