When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize