its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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