Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
