2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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