And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
