Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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