Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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