Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
