Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
