They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I have demons in me.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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