One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
