it hurts more in the daytime
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
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she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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