I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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